Hey, 

I’m flying back from Dallas right now. The FBI will never look for the body there! Ooops, did I say that out loud?

Anyway, I’m trying to come up with an easy “news”letter topic but I’m distracted by the fact that a woman in front of me is—I defecate you negatory—reading a physical copy of Meatingplace magazine, the “premier multimedia information source for the red meat and poultry processing industry.” And it looks fascinating. I really wanted to read the story on how you can turn deboning poultry waste into ground meat profits, but she turned the page and the website has a paywall.

If you could stay numb to the wholesale industrialized slaughter of animals, I think it would be a lot of fun to be the editor of a magazine like that because of all the opportunities for punny headlines. “Regulators Chicken Out on Poultry Guidelines,” “Consumers Balk-Balk-Balk at Higher Meat Prices,” “Experts Say it Behooves Ewe Not to Let any Parts Go to Waste,” “Meat the Press—that will give you even thinner strips of beef,” etc.